Send help......and a storage unit. He kept the m'fer a secret. Maybe I should come home with a pair of $1000 shoes.

Congratulation to @SGKusmertz, @bek1, and @wilbner. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Joe and the Panelists.

@SGKusmertz If you could have one song play when you enter a room, what would it be?
@bek1 Do you usually feel excited or stressed out about going back to school after summer break?
@wilbner What was the best prank you’ve ever pulled?

Congratulations to @Ted_Prohowich. Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.

@Ted_Prohowich What's your back to school advice?

No matter the outcome of the midterms, I have little faith in the integrity of our elections. LA Is a perfect example. In my opinion, there is no way that those two were the #1 and #2 winners.

It's old fashioned, but I think we should go back to paper ballots. I don't trust the machines. I do understand how red states can turn purple or blue. We have had four sets of friends relocate to different red states because "Illinois is so bad", but they took their blue votes with them. All four sets of friends have TDS or were staunch dems. They do not realize the appeal of other states is due to conservative politicians. I do not know how this ever gets fixed.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Monday. It will be okay, no matter what happens, because I believe in the end this is God's earth. JM

Walking home after a blowout Election Day party.
Two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee.

The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.

The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!"

"That's nothing," says the other.
"Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said

'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
mornin