Of course Elon has tapped @johnconner2046 to plan the welcome back party for the astronauts returning on Crew Dragon Freedom in the Gulf of Mexico. He has a dual function- he also has to make sure they haven't been infected with some kind of Astronauts Wife/Venom/Body Snatchers-like alien symbiotic organism. This hasn't become a Hollywood trope for no reason. It took 2 weeks to extract the creature that had infected Buzz Aldrin.
In honor of @johnconner2046 , some Dad jokes John tells astronauts and some memes
Why are there not more dog astronauts?
They’re afraid of the vacuum.
Why do all astronauts use a mac?
Because its dangerous to open windows in space.
On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, “Is this normal?”
He said, “Not during a written exam, no.”
Send help......and a storage unit. He kept the m'fer a secret. Maybe I should come home with a pair of $1000 shoes.
Congratulation to @SGKusmertz, @bek1, and @wilbner. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Joe and the Panelists.
@SGKusmertz If you could have one song play when you enter a room, what would it be?
@bek1 Do you usually feel excited or stressed out about going back to school after summer break?
@wilbner What was the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
Congratulations to @wilbner, @Steve-allen, and @KarenOtto. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Kennedy and the Panelists.
@wilbner If you were forced to change your career, what would your new profession be?
@karenotto. If you had to be stranded on an island with one FNC host, who would you choose & why?
@steve-allen what do you tell yourself to calm yourself down in an escalating situation?
Dear Trump,
Why are you threatening to tear down the Kennedy Center over the name? You fix it up and keep the original name. Put your name on The Ballroom.
Why are you banning CNN, Politico and MS Now? You need foils. You need these guys to show how biased the media are.
I understand your frustration...but these seem particularly petty and are not going to win any votes...in fact they may cost votes.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
