Of course Elon has tapped @johnconner2046 to plan the welcome back party for the astronauts returning on Crew Dragon Freedom in the Gulf of Mexico. He has a dual function- he also has to make sure they haven't been infected with some kind of Astronauts Wife/Venom/Body Snatchers-like alien symbiotic organism. This hasn't become a Hollywood trope for no reason. It took 2 weeks to extract the creature that had infected Buzz Aldrin.
In honor of @johnconner2046 , some Dad jokes John tells astronauts and some memes
Why are there not more dog astronauts?
They’re afraid of the vacuum.
Why do all astronauts use a mac?
Because its dangerous to open windows in space.
On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, “Is this normal?”
He said, “Not during a written exam, no.”
Congratulations to @KentC. Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@kenyC. Who was your biggest tv/movie crush? Did you ever meet them?
Tickets still available for our last 4 shows of the year.
Join us...
Sat, Sept 19, Henderson, NV, Lees Family Forum
Gutfeld, Shillue & Joe Machi
Sun, Sept 20, Clarksville, TN, F&M Bank Arena
Gutfeld, Shillue & Joe Machi
Sat, Oct 17, Peoria, IL, Peoria Civic Center
Gutfeld, Shillue & Jeff Dye
Sun, Oct 18, St. Charles, MO, Family Arena
Gutfeld, Shillue & Jeff Dye
Go to www.GGUTFELD.com/live for tickets!
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Enjoy 20% off All Gutfeld Merch thru Monday the 6th with Promo Code GG4TH
https://greg-gutfeld.myshopify.com/
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Poor little guy. He was stuck in a drainage ditch overnight in this horrible weather, but the Humane Society picked him up and got him back to his family. I think he's going to need a nice, warm bath ... although water may not be his favorite thing after that ordeal! 😅
Dear Republicans,
Go after Bernie Sanders please. Let the masses know what kind of douchebag this guy is.
If you ask AI- this question
Was Bernie Sanders kicked out of a hippie commune in Vermont for not doing enough work?
This is the response-And make sure the ENTIRE country knows it. These are the Social Democrats from top to bottom.
Yes, the claim is true. According to historical accounts and books detailing the era, Bernie Sanders was asked to leave the Myrtle Hill Farm commune in Vermont in 1971 because he talked about politics instead of pulling his weight with physical labor.
Members of the commune reported that Sanders had an "all-are-welcome" policy for the first three days, but his tendency to avoid manual work and sit around debating political theory—often distracting others from their daily chores—led the communal leaders to politely ask him to move on.