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One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said,

"See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."r>
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.

"Well," he began,
"I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!......'
Well... I just shit my pants."

The young men looked astonished and one of them said,
"I don't blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a lion jumped out at me."

The old man shook his head and said,
"No, no, not then, just now when I said
'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'"
Mornin

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A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?

Grandma replied, Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh ... Im happy with my TV as my boyfriend.

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started
adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandmas minister. The minister said, Hello son, is your Grandma home?

The little boy replied, Yeah, shes in the bedroom bangin her boyfriend.
Mornin

in my opinion , Gene Kelly was the best dancer of them all ! Enjoy .

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