One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said,
"See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."r>
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.
"Well," he began,
"I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!......'
Well... I just shit my pants."
The young men looked astonished and one of them said,
"I don't blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a lion jumped out at me."
The old man shook his head and said,
"No, no, not then, just now when I said
'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'"
Mornin
Join Greg, Tom, comedian Michael Loftus and Dana Perino June 7 in Charlotte, NC! Tickets still available.
https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/2D00632B915924D3
Congratulations to @Fuezie and @NJFLA. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Fuezie What's the stangest thing you believed as a kid....?
@NJFLA Is there something you aren’t good at and wish you were?
I went to the doctor this morning, and I had a long talk with the lady I saw today - Christina, because Crystal, the nurse practitioner I normally see, was booked solid for the entire week. And I have a few confessions to make.
I've done well in my physical therapy, but I'm so loaded down with excess skin - including the cannonballs on my knees - that I've started walking like a gorilla and have had to go back to using a cane because all those lbs. of flesh are aggravating my arthritis. I remembered the last time I spoke with someone, and they said it was simply a cosmetic procedure.
Today, I showed Christina everything - the sagging around my boobs that's causing pain in my left side, my pterodactyl arms, the floppy belly that's stretched out all the way to the saddlebags on my hips, and the cannonballs on my knees. After looking everything over, she said, "Susanne, this isn't cosmetic anymore. This loose skin is starting to affect your mobility just as much as weighing over 300 lbs. did. ...
Jerry's Fruit Market in Niles, IL has medium eggs, 4 dozen for $1.00!! Now I usually buy Large or Extra Large...that's less than 9 cents an egg! So even if I double up...
I am getting a little tired of the pundits stating that a nuclear-armed Iran would control the Strait of Hormuz.
That is not their goal. They plan in ridding the world of Israel, and then the USA.
They have been very open about it. Plus, why would they need long-range missiles to control the strait???
Additionally, they can't be compared to North Korea since the radicals in Iran believe that if they get obliterated trying to meet their objectives, they will get their 72 virgins.
I've been in that part of the world several times, and they are a different breed of cat.
