One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said,
"See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."r>
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.
"Well," he began,
"I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!......'
Well... I just shit my pants."
The young men looked astonished and one of them said,
"I don't blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a lion jumped out at me."
The old man shook his head and said,
"No, no, not then, just now when I said
'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'"
Mornin
Congratulations @Frenchi. Your question was chosen tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists
@Frenchi If you could change something about yourself, what would it be and why?
Congratulations to @LeoLeeC and @steve-allen. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg.
@LeoLeeC What would cause you to change to a different restaurant table or airline seat?
@steve-allen Have you ever took blame for something you didn't do just to get it over with?
Post your questions below for the Greg & The Panelists on Friday's GUTFELD!
“Jimmy Kimmel”
Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway, the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat, yeah
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust (yeah)
Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think I'm gonna get along
Without you, when you're gone?
You took me for everything that I had
And kicked me out on my own
Are you happy, are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway, the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat, look out
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, “I stole a can of peaches.”
The judge then asked, “how many peaches were in the can?”
“Six,” replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn’t know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, “your honor, wait!”
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
“She also stole a can of peas!”
Mornin
