i know you've been wondering where i've gone! or been!
I wasn't in jail, or getting a sex change, or getting a sex change in jail.
My wife gave birth last week to a delightful little girl named Mira.
so i've been off, basically running interference between the baby and a very inquisitive french bulldog. because the baby hasn't gotten her shots, we can't let the little guy near her. so i'm basically keeping him busy while wife does that "other" stuff. its been a surreal amazing experience. Being superstitious, we didnt want to tell anyone until the baby was born. I would write more here, but i am literally on 24 hour emergency assistance - when Elena wants something I have to get it, or I get tazed.
As for Mira, she's got her mothers looks, and her fathers dislike for Brian Kilmeade. I turned on fox and friends this morning, and she cried incessantly until i turned it to something less disturbing (Dexter).
my guess is, i'll probably be back to work in the new year, no later.
but possibly sooner -who knows! this is a first time thing for us, so your guess is as good as mine!
thanks for being here in the gutter with me!
gg
Mark dragged down his Chewbacca from upstairs and wore his favorite mask for Halloween. No negativity surprisingly…. ! He did, however, pay a visit to the liberal house next door and repeatedly yelled, “You’re fired! You’re fired! You’re fired!” I think they actually enjoyed it.
Send help......and a storage unit. He kept the m'fer a secret. Maybe I should come home with a pair of $1000 shoes.
Congratulation to @SGKusmertz, @bek1, and @wilbner. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Joe and the Panelists.
@SGKusmertz If you could have one song play when you enter a room, what would it be?
@bek1 Do you usually feel excited or stressed out about going back to school after summer break?
@wilbner What was the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
First, I want to thank everybody for sharing your stories. It was great hearing about all your meat pies, Reese’s sandwiches (yes, chocolate/peanut butter on toast!), Campbell’s soup concoctions, rice pudding, beef stews, homemade sausage, and growing-up-on-the-farm stories. These were just awesome!
It’s funny how certain foods can take you right back to childhood. Some of these meals may not have been fancy, but they were made with what Mom had on hand, and they left us with memories that have lasted a lifetime. Thanks for taking us all down memory lane. We loved reading every one of them!
And…
Congratulations to @socalmike and @dakotagal! Your heartfelt stories were randomly chosen as our winners for the Look What I Grew Up With contest.
Thank you both for sharing a little piece of your childhood with us!
Please keep an eye out for an email from a member of The Gutter team.
Remember when Mom could turn a pound of hamburger, a bag of noodles, and a seasoning packet into a ...
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said ...
"Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger...
"What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know how about nuclear power?"
"OK that could be an interesting topic...
But let me ask you a question first."
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez, I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
Evenin.
