A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange
:Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding, too!
mornin
Send help......and a storage unit. He kept the m'fer a secret. Maybe I should come home with a pair of $1000 shoes.
Congratulation to @SGKusmertz, @bek1, and @wilbner. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Joe and the Panelists.
@SGKusmertz If you could have one song play when you enter a room, what would it be?
@bek1 Do you usually feel excited or stressed out about going back to school after summer break?
@wilbner What was the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
Remember the Greg-O-Lantern from year ago donated by one of our loyal Gutter members @apalm? It made another appearance on tonight’s Gutfeld!
The 2027 Gutfeld Live Tour Schedule with ticketing links & info will be released Monday Nov 2 at 10am EST.
Don’t miss Gutfeld as he takes on the madness of modern America, exposing hypocrisy, skewering sacred cows, and saying the things everyone’s thinking but HR won’t let them say. No teleprompters, no government-approved punchlines, and definitely no sensitivity training. It’s a night of hilarious and subversive commentary on American politics and pop culture, and the stuff you’ll never hear him say on Live TV. Don't miss seeing our man Live on the road in 2027!
ON SALE TICKET DATES:
Gutter Members gain access Nov 4 @ 10am local time with a promo code which will be sent that morning - Posted here on the GUTTER! Tickets will officially go on sale to the public Friday Nov 6.
Boo!
Hope that wasn't too scary 😃😄 Is anyone dressing up for a Halloween or going to a church or school fall festival?
My daughter is going to be a green fairy, wings and all. I'm going to be a fairy godmother. We just dress up for fun to answer the door. Tomorrow we decorate the yard. 🎃 🎃
Apropos of nothing, here's some silly stuff I've found lately. Hope you have a great weekend and looking forward to seeing Greg's Leftovers tonight 😃
