“Porch Pirate! Porch Pirate!”

We are visiting our middle daughter. Her daughter, is turning 3. My beautiful wife ordered birthday presents from Amazon, and had them sent to our daughter’s house…
Or so she thought.

“Did our presents arrive?”
“Nope, not yet.”
“Amazon says they were delivered. Your house number is 5882, correct?”
“No, 5862.”
“Crap! I wonder if the house they delivered them to is too far away.”
“Well, this is the 5800 block, so it has to be on this street.”

“Honey?”
“Yes dear?”
“Would you go with me to find the presents?”
::sigh::
“Yes dear.”

So we walked past the Police/Fire-station next door, and started checking the building numbers.
The only issue we had was the fact that at the end of the block, the last house was number ‘5880’.
This house did have two Amazon packages on the porch.

“I wonder if those are our packages?” My lovely bride asked me.
“Could be, why don’t you get close enough to read the mailing labels.”

So she walked up to the porch stairs, bent over and squinted at the boxes, while I stayed on the sidewalk.
“Yes, they are ours!” She said as she mounted the stairs to the porch.
As she picked up the two packages, I couldn’t help myself.

“Porch Pirate! Porch Pirate!” I yelled pointing at her.
“A little old lady stealing packages!”
“Stop it!” She yelled at me.

Several folks did look.
“I ought to kick your ass!” She said between gritted teeth.
I just laughed.