A farmer walks into the bar and sits down beside me looking extremely agitated.
"What's goin' on with ya Pete?"
"Ah jesus, Brian. So I got up early and was milking my biggest cow in her stall. I had a pail just about full when she kicked her right leg and spilled the entire thing."
"Aw Christ, Pete. I'm sorry about that."
"So, pissed off, I found a length of rope and tied her right leg to her stall so she wouldn't kick again and went back to milking her. I had this second pail just over half full when CRASH her left leg jolts and knocks it all over the floor. I'm fuming so I went and found another length of rope and tied her left leg to her stall nice and tight and propped the pail up again. No way to kick it over now, right?"
"Aye,"
"Well about a quarter full, her tail whips around the handle of the bucket and sends it flying. So I go stomping around looking for another length of rope but couldn't find anything. I thought, ah, this bitch deserves the belt anyways. So I took off the belt holding up my pants and tied her tail to the crossbeam above her stall."
"Don't tell me she kicked it over again."
"Nah, then my wife walked in."
mornin
I came up with a new slogan tonight: "This is my tradition."
For the last 7-8 years, I have made these plastic wrap "prize balls" for my 4 nieces, with candy, lottery tickets, coins and paper money. Got idea from the internet, you roll it all up in a bunch of plastic wrap and roll dice and pass it around. Whatever falls out is yours, you have to pass it on. Today my husband said I shouldn't do it anymore because they are over 21 now for the most part and they will think I'm treating them like kids. But the original video had adults doing the game. He almost convinced me, until I talked to my sister, and she disagreed. So, I'm doing it. "This is my tradition." Same with Christmas cards. I write a little note in each one. I think it's dumb when you get a card and the people just sign their names. So many people don't even send them anymore, but I love doing it. "This is my tradition." As I finished our cards tonight, my husband finally got it. He started adding names to our...
