I know I've laid low a bit for awhile, and I don't have an excuse for it. But in all fairness, I've been depressed. I've lost interest in a lot of things that I'm trying to get interested in again, and there have been times where I've wondered if I'm even welcome.
But then, I came to realize that I've been feeling sorry for myself for no good reason, and some days it's had an adverse effect on my temper. And while I have had some health issues, I've been withdrawing from a lot of things because I don't want to face what's going on.
This morning, Andre and Melissa at PSR got me to open up. One of the things I've had to put up with for a few years has been dealing with a lady at the program who is currently taking a sabbatical. She's a black lady who's dealt with racism in her life, and I tried to be good to her and understand what she was dealing with. But every time she saw me, she looked at me like I was the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. And because she thought I was a racist - and because she believes all white people are racists - none of us could win. Several times, she had such a bad attitude that she had me in tears.
Most recently, before she left the program, she said I disrespected her again because I said her nails were beautiful and looked professionally done. How was I to know she'd done them herself? And even after she was told that I didn't know, she still said I owed her an apology. I apologized, but for the first time, I didn't mean it. I just did it to shut her up, because I knew she'd keep it up until I did.
To be honest, I'd like to see her get her shit together and come back. But by the same token, and God forgive me for saying this, I'm glad she's gone. And I wasn't the only one she alienated - she treated everyone else that way, too, especially if they were white. So I think her past experiences with racism have turned her into the very thing she hates the most. She just needs a heavy dose of Jesus, but it's difficult to help someone who's unwilling to see another point of view.
Anyway, enough bitchery out of me. I have good news. Today was also my appointment with Dr. Peters, and when the nurse weighed me, this happened.

August 2024: 360 lbs.
Today: 258 lbs.

God is good. 🙏
And now...

Today is Wednesday, October 15th, and Donald J. Trump is my President.