A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @IMP85. Your Huli Huli recipe was chosen for tonight’s Sunday Suppers. After a fierce showdown between Imp amd @Arius-Trychus, the sugar won this round. I got the entries down to two and Mark chose the winner. Oh, and it was delicious. Sorry @Arius-Trychus, sweet always talks louder for Mark.
@Imp85, please keep an eye out for an email from a Gutter Team Member.
Thank you to everyone who shared recipes and helped keep my temporary “toaster oven, bbq, and crockpot era” alive. Here’s hoping to the kitchen face look flies by fast.
Congratulations to @ACDC_Guy and @Ted_Prohowich. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the panelists.
@ACDC_Guy What was your first make out song and what grade were you in?
@Ted_Prohowich Tell us about a time someone gave you advice you didn't follow. Was the outcome good, bad, or ugly?
Thanks to everyone who's come out this year! We're looking forward to seeing the rest of y'all in the coming months! Learn more about when and where to See Gutfeld, Perino, Shillue, Joe Machi, Michael Loftus and Jeff Dye! Tickets are still available including Meet & Greet Book signing tickets with Dana Perino in Frisco Texas. The Meet & Greet in Charlotte is sold out.
UPCOMING SHOWS!
Sat, June 6, Frisco, TX (Dallas) Comerica Center
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Michael Loftus and Dana Perino!
Sun, June 7, Charlotte, NC Bojangles Coliseum
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Michael Loftus and Dana Perino!
Sat, Sept 19, Henderson, NV, Lees Family Forum
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Joe Machi
Sun, Sept 20, Clarksville, TN, F&M Bank Arena
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Joe Machi
Sat, Oct 17, Peoria, IL, Peoria Civic Center
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Jeff Dye
Sun, Oct 18, St. Charles, MO, Family Arena
Gutfeld, Shillue AND Jeff Dye
Go to www.GGUTFELD.com/live for tickets!
Never forget those that made the ultimate sacrafice so that we all can live in the greatest country in the world.
We visited the Florence American Cemetery when we were in Italy a few years ago. Peaceful and gripping...
On Memorial Day, I am so happy to see a story on Gary Sinise.
This is a man who has dedicated himself to veterans. God Bless Him.
