A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulation to @Steve-allen. . Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Steve-Allen
What person did you realize that you totally misjudged after meeting them?
What is something stupid you did as a teenager that still scares you when you think about it?
Congratulations to @Junemarie53 and @NJFLA. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Junemarie53 What book were you forced to read for a class book report that you hated?
@NJFLA What’s something you grew up with that kids today have no idea about?
INTERNATIONAL BEER DAY
The first Friday in August brings a toast to ales, lagers, and pilsners that put the international in International Beer Day. Whether your beer is fermented or not, dark or pale, hoppy, bitter, smooth, or domestic, we raise our mug on International Beer Day.
#InternationalBeerDay
Perhaps there's a porter or a Belgian in your glass. Lift it high among friends around the world, thanking those who work at brewing delicious beer in your local area. Why? Because International Beer Day brings the world together, celebrating the beers of all cultures on one remarkable day.
Did you know, this is a day for beer lovers everywhere. In backyards, taverns, pubs, and breweries all over, people celebrate beer's greatness while showing gratitude to their bartender and waitstaff.
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip… but it’s better to be thoroughly sure." - Czech Proverb
6 WAYS TO CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL BEER DAY
Celebrate International Beer Day by enjoying a glass with friends. Try a new ...
What does retirement look like?
For me it’s writing missives like this. Listening to a lot of Audible. Watching my favorite shows.
Enjoying the antics of my granddaughter.
Working on my solar garden light DIY projects.
I’m not fully retired yet. I still get called out to do 35mm theater projection calls and sound calls. Not often but enough to supplement my Social Security.
It’s just painful for me to do the work these days.
If I had the money I would invest in many many visits to my Chiropractor. I am doing Carnivore and this is helping but the Chiropractic visits would speed this up a lot.
More coffee
