A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @heavyO. Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@heavyO What show do you dislike, but will watch with your significant other?
It's not even Thanksgiving and we're already thinking about gifts and Holiday Sales... WELL... here's a thought....how about surprising a loved one with Tickets to GUTFELD Live! Tickets are now on sale for the Entire Tour 2026 tour including our last show of 2025 in Atlantic city Nov 22! There are still VIP tickets available at most of the shows, but they won't last - so if you're looking to enhance your experience or a loved ones grab 'em while you can.
Go to www.ggutfeld.com/live for ticket info. and we REALLY hope to see you there!
FULL TOUR LINE UP!
Sat, Nov 22, Atlantic City, Ocean Casino (Surprise Guest Kat Timpf! )
Sat, Feb 28, Westbury, NY, Flagstar @Westbury Music Fair (almost sold out)
Sat, April 11, Duluth, GA, -Gas South Arena
Sun, April 12, Huntsville, AL, Propst Arena
Sat, May 2, Nampa, ID, Ford Idaho Center
Sun. May 3, Independence, MO, Cable Dahmer Arena
Sat, June 6, Frisco, TX (Dallas) Comerica Center
Sun, June 7, Charlotte, NC Bojangles Coliseum
Sat, Sept 19, ...
Catholic Bishops advocating for the illegal immigrants again.
If they are such great people, let the Vatican take them all in!!!
I'm feeling very sad today. We just went to one of our favorite restaurants, run by a local family that we have gotten to know, and they told us they will be closing at the end of the week.
They serve great food and always have plenty of customers. What is the reason they are going out of business? They can't find people to hire.
This is one of about a dozen businesses our town has lost over the past 2 years because they can't find employees. In all of my life, I never thought this would be a problem in the US.
It's heartbreaking for these small business owners who just want to provide for their families. And it impacts the small town way of life as local "mom and pop" shops get replaced by large corporate chains, and Main Street fills up with buildings showing "For Lease" signs in the windows.
This is not the America in which I grew up. Is it gone for good?
