A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @Dylwa77 and @Apalm. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Dylwa77 If you were granted a wish to learn the truth about one controversial event, what would it be?
@APalm Do you remember a time that you succumbed to peer pressure, or resisted it?
Congratulations to @hillcatgut. Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@hillcatgut Name an actor or politician that you met - was your impression of them different than their public persona.
See GUTFELD Live with Tom Shillue and our surprise guest comedians
Joe DeVito, Jamie Lissow, Michael Loftus, Joe Machi & Jeff Dye!
Sat, April 11, Duluth, GA, -Gas South Arena
Sun, April 12, Huntsville, AL, Propst Arena
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@GGsister1
I’m a little bit back now, after a prolonged period with one of my dogs in intensive care at the university of Tennessee, after a dental procedure, put him into an autoimmune disorder that nearly took him and a lot of other things were going on with my bank is screwing up my money, which is finally getting straightened out possibly tomorrow. That has also been weeks of effort and aggravation. The guy I was dating and I decided we’re better off as friends and that’s working out. There was just a lot of change and upheaval going on for quite a while. My Greyhound Tucker is finally showing signs of recovery and he came home day before yesterday. Still fighting with the IRS, over mistakes that Joe made years ago, so life goes on. I am finally coming up for air though I’ve missed you all.
