A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulation to @Steve-allen. . Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Steve-Allen
What person did you realize that you totally misjudged after meeting them?
What is something stupid you did as a teenager that still scares you when you think about it?
Congratulations to @Junemarie53 and @NJFLA. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Junemarie53 What book were you forced to read for a class book report that you hated?
@NJFLA What’s something you grew up with that kids today have no idea about?
Lookin' for a lil laugh to brighten your day? check out some of our fav clips from Gutfeld Live. https://www.youtube.com/@GGutfeldLive
And don't forget to grab your tickets for Clarksville, TN, & Las Vegas in September! and Peoria & St. Louis in October!
https://ggutfeld.com/live/
Tuesday Morning Funnies . . . It’s Primary Day in Michigan! Do you know where your socialist candidate is? Photos 1 & 2 are El-Sayed’s last mailing to Michigan voters. Note that the UAW, the kingmaker of state Democrat politics, has joined AOC and Bernie Sanders in endorsing El-Sayed.
There are no “moderates” in the Democrat Primary. Either candidate will vote the same way. The debate is really about the degree of antisemitism and socialism. Which Democrat would you rather see burning a cross on your lawn?