A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @junemarie53 and @bek1 . Your questions were chosen for tonight's Ask Tom Shillue and the Panelists.
@Junemarie53 How much money did your parents give you for good report cards when you were a kid?
@bek1 What was your first big break?
That's right Tom Shillue will be hosting Gutfeld! this Friday and we'd like your questions!
Submit your questions below for Tom & the Panelist's on Fridays GUTFELD! below
Don't miss Tom this weekend in Levittown, NY @ the Govenors for his live comedy Show! Tickets: https://www.tomshillue.com/live
Today was a great day! I hosted another "wine tasting" with my four grown nieces and cousins. We each bring a bottle of wine and have a little taste of each and rate them. Some were very good, some not so much. We had a lot of laughs and great food, then played cards in the yard. It was a beautiful day. We had mostly store bought or bakery items to make it easier. Here is a pic of my mini charcuterie board. We also had arancini, homemade bruschetta, focaccia, pulled pork sliders and quiche. Lemon knots from the Sicilian Bakery. These are the days that make the not-so-great times so worthwhile. 🥰
Now I'm going to take my husband out for a beef sandwich. He was here all day helping out and socializing but no drinks for him. He enjoyed himself as well.
