A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
We are so grateful to have found The Gutter and to be part of a place where we can meet wonderful people and feel a real sense of community. We truly have so much to be thankful for, and today we love to celebrate that together.
Please share your Thanksgiving moments with us—what you’re thankful for, what made you smile, or the simple joys that made today special.
As for me, I’m thankful that my family is healthy and happy, that the kids have their homes and their jobs, and that I can pause during the day to notice something in nature I don’t see every day…..flock of starlings murmuring around our refinery.
Those little moments mean everything.
Happy Thanksgiving from my heart to yours.
Congratulations to @APalm, @Pam_Antosiak, @RockNRollHS. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s.Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@APalm Who's a celebrity that is universally considered attractive, but they just don't do it for you?
@Pam_Antosiak At your current level of professional success, do you still have a five year plan? And if you do, where do you want to be in five years?
@RockNRollHS What is it that annoys you the most these days?
I don’t like sharing bad news, but my 1st cousin sadly died this morning. She was in her 80’s and just had a birthday this past October. We were like sisters when we were little girls. We shared many memories together as adults.
Please pray for her to Rest In Peace as she was suffering the last few weeks. Thank you so much. @GregGutfeld
