A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @junemarie53 and @bek1 . Your questions were chosen for tonight's Ask Tom Shillue and the Panelists.
@Junemarie53 How much money did your parents give you for good report cards when you were a kid?
@bek1 What was your first big break?
That's right Tom Shillue will be hosting Gutfeld! this Friday and we'd like your questions!
Submit your questions below for Tom & the Panelist's on Fridays GUTFELD! below
Don't miss Tom this weekend in Levittown, NY @ the Govenors for his live comedy Show! Tickets: https://www.tomshillue.com/live
Post your questions below for Greg & the Panelists on Friday's GUTFELD!
For me - as of August 2024!
GORGEOUS GRANDMA DAY
July 23rd is Gorgeous Grandma Day and we are recognizing all the women who embrace the age of a grandma, whether they are grandmothers or not! Gorgeous Grandma Day embraces and encourages all women to flaunt their granny attitudes with purpose and style.
#GorgeousGrandmaDay
Not all women become grandmothers. Those who do, don't necessarily fit the traditional mold any longer. Others still reach a point where many assume grandmother status, even though no grandchildren are around. While some grandmas fit the traditional mold with gray hair and cookie-baking, home-making, hug-giving, child-spoiling energy to spare, many grannies sport a whole new role. Many take on the part of grandma to the children in their lives.
No matter the type of grandmother they are, they're all different. Some play the hippest games, wear the latest styles, and know how to find the best deals on technology. Even the grandkids can't keep up! Funny, sassy, and energetic grandmas, rebel grannies and smart ...
