A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Mornin.
Congratulations to @bek1 Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@bek1 What is your "go-to" music for a romantic encounter?
Congratulations to @steve-allen. Your question was chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@Steve-allen. What movie would you have been a great actor in ?
Congratulations to @APalm and @derrickhhurd. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists. Well, that was fun. We got a chorus.
@apalm As a kid, what luxury item did you dream about buying some day?
@derrickhhurd What is the last thing you would be willing to give up if you had to?
C'mon, Iranian Women's Soccer Team, now that you're staying in Australia, it's time to REALLY piss off the Mullahs...
Adopt NEW UNIFORMS and MAKE A STATEMENT on HUMAN RIGHTS.
Sorry I'm 2 days late for celebrating International Women's Day.
That Thing the Left Says Never Happens Just Happened Again
NEW: ICE just arrested an illegal immigrant from Mauritania charged with voting in seven federal elections since 2008.
Mahady Sacko, who was living in Pennsylvania, allegedly voted in the 2008 general election, the 2012 general election, the 2016 primary election, the 2016 general election, the 2020 primary election, the 2020 general election, and the 2024 election for federal office, according to court docs.
He voted in person each time, except for the 2020 primary when he voted by mail. Each time, he allegedly lied about being a US citizen.
