tonight i'm hitting the sack early because i have a flight so early i think i am getting up before i actually go to bed.
(curious: do you like super early flights over others? i do. as much as i hate getting up, there's something about early flights that make me feel important! and its fun to drink airplane coffee for some reason - makes me feel like i'm in a movie)
so i won't be live chatting the awesome show tonight (as much as i want to).
and tonights show is sooooooo good. even i was able to make 2 or 3 non cringeworthy jokes (as i get older, i realize my goals are getting more realistic).
i'll be in Austin tomorrow - maybe some of you will be there.
i won't be there long, and from what i can tell, i can't really even go anywhere to eat etc. the rules for traveling from texas to NY are really stringent. so i can't really go to bars etc. but i'll wave to you from the stage. I wanted to eat Chic fila but they're closed on sundays (god love em)
just a note -- and this is directed not at all of you, but a few.
I didn't just leave Twitter behind, i also left my Ggutfeld website behind - because it became overwhelmed not just with trolls, but people who were fed up or angry or just disliked my different hosts or guest. it's not worth naming who they are, because I don't listen. you can't like everyone. But at one point my GG website was overrun with thousands of messages about one person. and I couldn't read other messages because of that. That's one reason why i am here.
this place -- the gutter - is meant to be positive.
if you don't like juan or kat or tyrus or dagan - fine -- express it somewhere else, but not here.
i don't have any rules here, except for rejecting flippant negativity.
we are all doing are best.
the desire to be negative is natural -- god knows - i am the biggest offender.
i am a hypocrite. I can be negative all the time, and i have an outlet.
you folks dont. So i understand TOTALLY the frustration you feel when watching a show. in fact, when you see me on the Five, you can see the frustration in my face at times!
but i say this all the time: conflict makes me a better host. imagine how boring i would be if i wasn't tested every day. i would be like don lemon or chris cuomo - vacuous vessels who've not worked their intellectual muscles in years.
so i ask that when your'e here - its entirely natural to not like Joe Blow, or Jane Doe - but realize I am trying to escape that. And that's why i'm here.
having said that, i'm glad you're here with me!
g
Congratulations to @heavyO and @chitchatjf. Your questions were chosen for tonight’s Ask Greg and the Panelists.
@heavyO Have you ever gone to a high school reunion?
@chitchatjf Which movie would you most like to see remade with YOU playing the main character?
@apalm It's gourd to be famous. Andrew you can explain your creation.
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. Do you have health insurance? she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
"Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
Mornin
Was watchin the Whitehouse Briefing yesterday ...
The CBS bimbo kept tryin to push a gotcha question on Karoline about the Whitehouse renovations and Pres. Trumps right to do them...
Her question , which wasnt a question....
"So the president has the right to just demolish any building in DC he wants...
The Whitehouse , The Jefferson Memorial , he can just tear them down ...
Karoline cut her off and moved on .
How freakin stupid of a question...
Why would Trump want to tear down any memorial in DC ....
And when was that ever mentioned...
Thats the lefts game , tearin down statues
I thought Bari Weiss was gettin CBS straightened out ...
The Bimbo needs to go.