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@IslandGirl_bc

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much ....... 🙂🙂🙂🙂

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TREE - SPIRITS ........... # 8............ 😲😲😲😲😲

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I - SHOULD - HAVE - BEEN - CLEARER ! ....... 😣😣😣😣

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GOD - AND - LAWN - CARE ....... 🤢🤢🤢🤢
>
GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
>
St. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
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GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
>
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and...

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WHY - WE - SHOULD - GO - TO - CHURCH ......... # 2

THE - PICNIC ....... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
>
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
>
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
>
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding." ....... 🤣🤣🤣

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HOLY - CRAP .... # 7 .... And Nobody Wants To Stop !!! ... 😯😯😯

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YES ................. THEY - WOULD ! .............. 😆😆😆😆

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GENIUSES - AT - WORK .....

OK - FRIEND - I - GOTTA - JOB - FOR - YOU ......... 🙂🙂🙂

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HOLY - CRAP ........ # 1 ............... 😲😲😲😲😲

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much ...... # 15 ..... 😆😆

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YOU - GOT - THAT - RIGHT !!! ................. 😟😟😟

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I - LOVE - THAT - FACE !! ......................... 😁😁😁😁😁

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CLEVER - BUSINESS - NAMES ......................🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

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EVENING CHUCKLES ....... # 8 ...... 😆😆😆😆😆

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TREE - SPIRITS ..................... # 6 ................... 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

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REVENGE - PARKING ........ # 16 ........ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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HEAVENLY CLOCKS
>
A man died & went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates,
he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
>
He asked, "What are all those clocks for?"
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St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. From the time you are born, everyone has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
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"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
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"That's Mother Teresa's," replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved,
indicating that she never told a lie."
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"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
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St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
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"Where's President Biden's Clock?" asked the man.
>
>
St. Peter replied, "We're using it as a ceiling fan."

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FRIDAY - HUMOUR ........ # 2 ....... 😆😆😆😆😆

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Why Go to Church?
>
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
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"Why not?" she asked.
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I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."
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His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church:
>
(1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"

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NEVER - WASH - YOUR - HANDS ............ # 12.......... 💚

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MASKS !! ............... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Nescafe has a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
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After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Holiness, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee.'"
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The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed."
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"Well, says the Nescafe man, we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
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"My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed."
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"The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please ...

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MARITAL - BLISS ....... # 8

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much ! ..... # 14 ..... 😁😁

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TREE - SPIRITS ................ # 3 .............. The Kiss

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When I Look Around At The World Today, I Am Not So Sure ! ... 😣😣

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I - KNOW - THAT - FEELING .............. (Smile)

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I - GOT - IT - MADE ................ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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THE WORLD IS MAD. This makes absolutely no sense!
>
After a year of burning cities and taking down statues of patriots and Columbus they have erected a statue of Floyd. No, not the barber of the Andy Griffin Show, although he probably deserves it a lot more than this one.
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NEWARK, N.J. (PIX11) — New Jersey's most populous city paid tribute to George Floyd, unveiling a 700-pound bronze statue in his honor outside Newark's City Hall. Not sure if this is to honor his drug dealing, who made his family millions.
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After 6 burglaries, 3 car thefts, 2 violent home invasions, 3 armed robberies, beating 4 victims senseless, passing counterfeit money, and being arrested 23 times since 1998, ....... George Floyd hasn't committed a crime in one year !!!
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HIS FAMILY HAS RECEIVED $27 MILLION FROM THE STATE AND $20 MILLION FROM "GO FUND ME"
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President Biden and his VP met with the Floyd family on May 25th, the one year anniversary of his death.
>
Nancy Pelosi in June of 2020, gave the Floyd ...

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BECAUSE - I - SAID - SO !!! ........................ 😠😠😠

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HEAR - YE ............. HEAR - YE ........ UK ... tells it like it is !!!

Oh Dear ..... Sad ..... But So True .... I Am So Ashamed !!! ....... 🤢

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OUR - POSTS - ARE - BEING - CENSORED !!!
WHY - IS - THAT - THEN ?
I Have Tried To Post An Important News Story TWICE And They Won't Let Me !!! ................. I Am Disgusted !!!

IS - THIS - HOW - IT'S - GOING - TO - BE - NOW ?????

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IS THIS BEING CENSORED ????? .... 2nd Try ......

Video of an Amazon delivery driver trying to make a delivery in the Los Angeles area.
Try and count all the people helping themselves to the goods.
R-word? .......... Why ? They are all black ... cameras don't lie !!!

BUT ..... also ..... Why didn't she keep the doors locked, back and front?..... or why didn't she drive away ???..... Questions.. Questions ..

https://audio.nationalvanguard.com/swarm.mp4

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I - THINK - I'LL - GIVE - THIS - ONE- A - "MISS" ...... 😆😆😆

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MY - "PRIMARY" - REASON ? - DUH !!!!

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TREE - SPIRITS .............. # 2 ............. 😁😁😁

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IN CREDIBLE - KODAK - MOMENTS ! ..... # 27 ..... 🙂🙂🙂

Plane In Rain .......... Again And Again ! ......... 😁

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FRIDAY - HUMOUR ........... # 8

OH - LORD ..... WHAT - NOW ? ............ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

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I - AM - BLESSED ! ................ 💜💜💜

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AS - OUR - WORLD - TURNS .......... # 14 .......... 😁😁😁😁

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THIS'LL - WORK ! ................... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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BRINGS - BACK - MEMORIES ..... OUCH, OUCH, OUCH !!
😖😖😖😖😖😖

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NEVER - WASH - YOUR - HANDS ........ # 15 ....... 😁😁😁

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FRIDAY - HUMOUR ............... # 4

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GENIUSES - AT - WORK ............

CANT - FIND - A - HELMET - USE - A - BUCKET ! ..... 😆😆😆

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CHURCH - SIGNS .................. # 6 ................ 😇😇😇

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TREE - SPIRITS ........... # 4

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GENIUSES - AT - WORK ......

THIS - GUY - LIKES -HIS - ODDS ............. 😮😮😮😮

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MAXINE ........... # 2 ............. 🙂🙂🙂

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much .............. # 13

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AS - OUR - WORLD - TURNS .......... # 9 ......... 😢😢😢😢

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There is a word in the English language that can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb or preposition.
>
UP
>
This 2 letter word has more meanings than any other 2 letter word in the English language. It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
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It's easy to understand "UP", meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
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At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
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Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it's a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
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We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
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At other times, people stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
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To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
>
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is ...

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EVENING -CHUCKLES .......... # 6 .......... 🙂🙂🙂🙂

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TREE - SPIRIT ........ # 7 ......... 🙂🙂🙂

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CHURCH - SIGNS .......... # 8 ......... 😆😆😆😆

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INCREDIBLE - KODAK - MOMENT ....... # 1 ....... 🙂🙂🙂🙂

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Wedding Bells 🔔

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
>
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The Works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
...

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Never Wash Your Hands? .......... # 14

Lynn .............. I am trying to find out the artist's name ........ 🙂

It'll take him four hours to do one hand. He then photographs it for posterity. I cannot imagine how he does it, the eyes are so remarkably lifelike. It took him 10 hours to do the two-handed Eagle picture.

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I hope this idea is beyond conceptual...sounds like a great concept.

HOW - AUSTRALIANS - FIX - POTHOLES ! ..... WOW ! ....😲😲😲

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AS - OUR - WORLD - TURNS .............. # 7

DAYLIGHT - ROBBERY ! ..................... 😠😠😠😠😠

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much ! ........ # 14

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NEVER - WASH - YOUR - HANDS ................. # 9

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FINAL - ONE ............. # 11

 These illustrations are beautiful.

JANE SEABROOK is an illustrator and designer who lives in Auckland , New Zealand .

In recent years, her artwork has focused on paintings of wildlife for the Fury Logic series of books.

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Might Be A Re-Post........

DON'T- I - KNOW - YOU ? ............. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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GROANERS, ZINGERS AND PUN- ISHMENT, JUSTLY DESERVED
............ Part 2 ....... 🙂🙂🙂🙂
>
>
14. Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.
>
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
>
16. When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
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17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."
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18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.
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19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk, and the result was staggering.
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20. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
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21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.
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22. What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar?
....... There, their, they're.
>
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the ...

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INCREDIBLE - KODAK - MOMENT ...... # 20 ....... Thanks Mate !

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MARITAL - BLISS ................. # 1

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GROANERS, ZINGERS AND PUN -ISHMENT,... JUSTLY DESERVED .................. # 1
>
AND MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITE:
>
"How do you keep a moron in suspense ? ......
"I'll tell you later"
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1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs ? Yes, we arson.
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2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis ? Disgruntled.
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3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
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4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter ? Swarm.
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5. If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.
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6. Just so everyone is clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.
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7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
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8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
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9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
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10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced ? A buccaneer.
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11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
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12. My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover band.
>
13. I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now ...

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I - STILL - SAY - 'EM ! ..................... 😆😆😆😆😆

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DAVE - ALLEN .............. Watch To The End ............. 😆😆😆😆

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Evening Chuckle ..... # 1

SMART - COP - EH ? ............... 😆😆😆😆😆

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Friday - Humour ...... # 3 ......

SOMEONE - SAY - SORRY ! ............ 😁😁😁😁

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SOUNDS - FAMILIAR ........... 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

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And What Part Of 'Smart-arse' Don't You Understand ? ..... 😆😆😆

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THINGS - YOU'VE - NEVER - SEEN - BEFORE... # 10... 🙂🙂🙂

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FLOOR - MATS ..... In Other Words ..... Bugger Off !!! ..... 😠😠😠

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MARITAL - BLISS ............. # 4 .............. 😆😆😆😆😆

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell So Much ! .... # 12 ....😆😆😆

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NEVER -WASH - YOUR - HANDS ..... # 7 ...... Incredible

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GENIUSES -AT - WORK.......

I Like Teamwork ............... But............. 🙂🙂🙂

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 These illustrations are beautiful................. # 8

JANE SEABROOK is an illustrator and designer who lives in Auckland , New Zealand .

In recent years, her artwork has focused on paintings of wildlife for the Fury Logic series of books.

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INCREDIBLE - KODAK - MOMENT ............ # 17 ........... 💚

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SWITZERLAND ................... Legal Guns ...............

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YOU'RE - A - LITTLE - JERK ......... aren't you ?

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MARITAL - BLISS ........... # 3 .......... 😁😁😁

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Things You've Probably Never seen Before .... # 6

Tibetan Mastiff Dog - Sold for 1.5 Million Dollars ..... 😯😯😯

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AND - I'M - LIVING - PROOF ! ......... 😆😆😆😆😆

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A - BAGPIPER'S - STORY ....
>
Time is like a river.
>
You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.
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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.
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As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
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I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
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I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.
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I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
>
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and ...

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INCREDIBLE - KODAK - MOMENTS ...... # 9 ...... 🙂🙂🙂

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MY - KIND - OF - POLICE -CHIEF ! .......... 🙂🙂🙂

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A - DOG - NAMED - DEXTER ........ Wonderful Story ....... 🙂🙂🙂

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Oh My Goodness !!!! ...........

CAN'T - WAIT - FOR - SUMMER !!! ........ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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YEAHH ...... WE - DON'T - NEED - A - REASON ...... 😆😆😆

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YEP ! ......................... # 3 definitely ....................... 😁😁😁😁😁

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GENIUSES - AT - WORK ......

Garden Or Not - We Must Have A Trampoline !! .......... 😲😲😲😲

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Why Mothers And Grandmothers Yell Alot ....... # 11 ...... 🙂🙂🙂

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MARITAL - BLISS ............ # 6 ........... 🙂🙂🙂

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OMG - Yessssssss ............ 😲😲😲😲😲

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Some Old, Some new .......... 😆😆😆😆

CROOKS - ARE - EVERYWHERE ! ........😁